I’ll just jump off a bridge.

Okay, that might be a little dramatic, but today is a terrible day. I am so disappointed in myself today, that I’m seriously contemplating my worth…

As a 23 year old, you might have the opinion that I’m still young, and energetic and should be positive and blah blah blah. I don’t. I have a sense of impending doom and failure, and I don’t know how to fix it. You see, I really haven’t accomplished anything. I screwed up my studies, so now, instead of having a degree, I merely have a diploma. I feel angry at myself that I didn’t allow myself to have more of that student experience. I am angry that I now have less of those experiences than my friends do. And now I’m old. But I would go back in a heartbeat if the finances would allow it…But alas.

I want to do more with my life. I want to stop being this mediocre being in a mediocre town doing mediocre work. I want to travel, and see things, and meet people. Regret always comes too late. But on the flip side of that argument, if I hadn’t made the choices I did, I wouldn’t have met some very special people…One in particular… But still, sometimes I wonder when it would be my turn to get the dream.

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