“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.”
I woke up this morning and suddenly felt as if my own life was passing me by. I have stopped writing, I have stopped painting, I barely touch my camera any more (although that is a different story entirely, I am quite angry with the thing) and I am merely existing. I feel bad because it feels like I have lost the fire in me, the life within me.
I want to rediscover myself, and my life. I forget what I stood for, and what my passions were. I have lost my voice, but the more I shout, the less any one can hear me… If I were to die today, what legacy would I leave? What would people remember? That I am a lousy friend? True. That I am self-obsessed? Also true. That I am no longer the person I used to be? That I am lazy at living? All true.
As I watched a video clip that a dear friend made, I realised that I even lost the activist in me, and I hate that. I hate that the world is still so unfair to any one who is not “normal”. Ugh, NORMAL? What is that? Why do we want to be NORMAL? Normal is boring. It is average. It is ordinary. I don’t want to be normal. I will no longer be. I want to LIVE. I want to BE.
As of today, I will be different. I will not be lazy. I will work at living. I want to live deliberately. I am extraordinary. And so are you.
My first act in living my new life: Reviving the Activist. Homophobia is unacceptable. It can not be tolerated. It should not. It is cruel. With that in mind, please watch this video. My dear friend made this video. And to my dear friend: Thank you for the wake up call. I needed your honest and pure heart put into art to wake me up and to start living again.