Acceptance is a Double Edged Sword

Hi kids,

I’d like to get serious here for a minute. Brace yourselves.

I recently stumbled across a website, xojane.com. While I am completely obsessed with it, and all the articles, but especially reading through the comments of the articles, I am getting a slightly uneasy feeling from spending so much time on the website. You see, the website is mainly aimed at women, their by-line being “xoJane.com is where women go when they are being selfish, and where their selfishness is applauded.”, which is fine by me. We all know (and don’t have to pretend otherwise) that I am gloriously selfish. Sometimes that’s okay. But, and here’s the thing, this website is aimed at women. Almost exclusively. And these women are also (mostly) feminists. Which is okay too. I’m all for being a strong-willed, independent woman. But on the website they make a very LOUD point of not judging fat women, fat people, fat in general. They will tear you a new one if you so much as whimper a slightly judgemental comment about a fat person. They will come at you with pitchforks if you dare utter disapproval at a fat woman. Which is fine. Nobody wants to be judged by their physical appearance. (It happens though, whether you like it or not.) They form this community of acceptance, not judging, or as they refer to it, “Body Shaming” each other for being fat. Cool. BUT…

They ferociously despise the desire to be skinny. It’s okay to be fat, and not want to change, but it is NOT okay to want to be skinny. They pretend like being skinny, or the want or even NEED to be skinny rivals leprosy. And that, my friends, is definitely not okay. It feels very much elitist. It also feels a lot like hypocrisy. You’re not cool if you’re not down with being fat. Go sit in your corner and dream about being skinny while eating your salad alone. We’ll be here eating cake and laughing at you. Ugh. Just, BLEGH.

You know I have spent the last couple of years obsessed with losing weight. Not trying to lose weight, mind you, but succeeding. And I am damn proud of that. I work very hard not to fall back into old habits, and gaining weight. I work out. I do Jillian Michaels‘ 30 day Shred. I weigh myself every day. I punish myself when I slip. I torture my soul with thoughts of cake and sweets, and all treats sugary, warm and gooey. I very rarely let myself have that. But that’s what I choose. It’s this obsessive compulsion that has allowed me in succeeding in my journey to lose weight. And I will NOT have an elitist, hypocritical “accepting” culture take that away from me.

And if I want to be skinnier, that’s MY business. Just like if you want to be fat, that’s YOUR business. The need to be accepted is universal. Not just fat people feel it. Not just skinny people have it. (Clearly) So, next time you feel like whining because people are mean to you because you’re fat, think about whether you are mean to skinny girls.

Yeah. Thought so.

I’ve been busy

I know, I know..It’s no excuse. But I have been busy. And I am sorry.

But here’s what’s going on in my life. I have started a new job in Stellenbosch. It is so good to be back here. When I studied, I loved this place, and I have missed it ever since I left. The commute to work and back is a bit hectic, and I leave every morning at 6:40 to be here at 8:00. Granted, I do get here early, but only slightly. And I’d rather be early than stuck in traffic AND running late! If you’d like to check out where I’m working now, you can go to http://wemer.co.za/

My man’s sister is getting married in one week! I am very excited! The bachelorette party that we threw for her, was a HUGE success, and so much fun! I will upload some photos soon, I still need to work out how much internet I can use at work…nudge nudge.. I am also working my butt off with Jillian Michaels‘ 30 Day Shred. Good lord, it is intense. My knees are killing me today. There’s this move in level 2 that I absolutely despise… It’s pendulum lunges with bicep curls. And my lower back hurts. But not the muscles, oh no. It hurts like…I don’t even know how to explain! It’s the lower bones of my back, behind my hips, I guess. I’m sure it’s from doing all those crunches. I should invest in a yoga mat.

I am completely obsessed with baking right now, and I’m collecting recipes like a spinster collects cats. It’s ridiculous. I haven’t done much baking yet, but I will. I promise. Speaking of, I really want to bake something for the office, but my boss is allergic to  gluten… Any suggestions on a good gluten-free recipe that will win the hearts of my colleagues?

And then, big news, my baby sis just got engaged! It’s really weird, I remember her as this little clumsy tomboy who supplied us with endless hours of entertainment (unwittingly), and even more hours of frustration and all out screaming matches! How fast time flies. I should be careful, I am nearly on the verge of having an existential crisis at the ripe old age of 25. And I am already paranoid about my wrinkles.

Also, I want to bitch about how difficult it is to buy something online from an international website, and then to get it shipped to South Africa. The actual buying – that I can do with my eyes closed, trust me – but actually getting my purchase here, now there lies the conundrum. Like: I really wanted to buy a case of Ball’s jars, those gorgeous mason jars. But I can’t get it here. And yesterday, I wanted to buy Organix Hydrating Macadamia Oil Intensive Moisture Hair Mask, but the shipping is LUDICROUS! It’s almost double what the damn mask will cost me. GAH!!! It’s time I move to Europe, I think.

If only.

Anyway, I should get back to work. At least it’s Friday. OH! Wait! I haven’t even told you yet…I AM NO LONGER WORKING WEEKENDS! Halle-frickin-lujah!

Much Love, dolls.