Acceptance is a Double Edged Sword

Hi kids,

I’d like to get serious here for a minute. Brace yourselves.

I recently stumbled across a website, xojane.com. While I am completely obsessed with it, and all the articles, but especially reading through the comments of the articles, I am getting a slightly uneasy feeling from spending so much time on the website. You see, the website is mainly aimed at women, their by-line being “xoJane.com is where women go when they are being selfish, and where their selfishness is applauded.”, which is fine by me. We all know (and don’t have to pretend otherwise) that I am gloriously selfish. Sometimes that’s okay. But, and here’s the thing, this website is aimed at women. Almost exclusively. And these women are also (mostly) feminists. Which is okay too. I’m all for being a strong-willed, independent woman. But on the website they make a very LOUD point of not judging fat women, fat people, fat in general. They will tear you a new one if you so much as whimper a slightly judgemental comment about a fat person. They will come at you with pitchforks if you dare utter disapproval at a fat woman. Which is fine. Nobody wants to be judged by their physical appearance. (It happens though, whether you like it or not.) They form this community of acceptance, not judging, or as they refer to it, “Body Shaming” each other for being fat. Cool. BUT…

They ferociously despise the desire to be skinny. It’s okay to be fat, and not want to change, but it is NOT okay to want to be skinny. They pretend like being skinny, or the want or even NEED to be skinny rivals leprosy. And that, my friends, is definitely not okay. It feels very much elitist. It also feels a lot like hypocrisy. You’re not cool if you’re not down with being fat. Go sit in your corner and dream about being skinny while eating your salad alone. We’ll be here eating cake and laughing at you. Ugh. Just, BLEGH.

You know I have spent the last couple of years obsessed with losing weight. Not trying to lose weight, mind you, but succeeding. And I am damn proud of that. I work very hard not to fall back into old habits, and gaining weight. I work out. I do Jillian Michaels‘ 30 day Shred. I weigh myself every day. I punish myself when I slip. I torture my soul with thoughts of cake and sweets, and all treats sugary, warm and gooey. I very rarely let myself have that. But that’s what I choose. It’s this obsessive compulsion that has allowed me in succeeding in my journey to lose weight. And I will NOT have an elitist, hypocritical “accepting” culture take that away from me.

And if I want to be skinnier, that’s MY business. Just like if you want to be fat, that’s YOUR business. The need to be accepted is universal. Not just fat people feel it. Not just skinny people have it. (Clearly) So, next time you feel like whining because people are mean to you because you’re fat, think about whether you are mean to skinny girls.

Yeah. Thought so.

Advertisements

The Curious Case of the Missing Wardrobe…

So, I’ve realised that there is a big mystery to be solved at my house… I am missing some garments. Some very nice ones, at that…Curious.

Of course, my first suspicion was that the little one took it. It is a widely known (and admitted) fact that we “borrow” clothing from each other…That is, until the other one finds out and it is sheepishly handed back to its rightful owner. But I flat out asked her, and demanded honesty or all hell will break loose, and she said she doesn’t have any of it. And I believe her. Here’s why: Normally, when we’re hiding this type of thing, you try to keep the owner as far away from your closet as possible. But she just told me that on her return Sunday, she will pack het closet and suitcase out, for me to see, that she does in fact, not have it. So I’m pretty sure she is being honest.

So next on the list, is the big sister. I did ask her, and she too, said no. I believe her, because with us two, if the other one asks, you just ‘fess up and give it back. Sure, we hide the fact that we have it, but when confronted with the question, we just admit it and move on…

So I asked the man, because maybe I left it there sometime. He said he’s not sure, that he’d check, but I’m almost 100% sure it’s not at his place. So now I’m completely stuck. It’s definitely not still in Amsterdam, because I’ve worn two of the items since our return, and the other one was missing even before we left. I’m sure it’s not just hiding between my own clothing, because with the move and the packing out, I sorted out my stuff and my closet is actually neat (Shocker!!!).

What to do? I’m going to double-check my own closet, and also check in the linen closet. (Sometimes we put clean laundry in there when we don’t have time to sort it out before we have guests coming) But I’ll have to wait until the young one comes home to see if she has it or not. But if she doesn’t, what then?

I’m quite devastated to even think about my stuff being missing forever (!). I love my clothing. I am somewhat materialistic. I am saddened by this loss. Some of those items are quite irreplaceable. Blah. What do I do?

Much Love 

What have we become?

I am ashamed (to say the least) to look at us, as a society, and see how we treat other human beings. I know my tirade on tolerance is becoming a little old, but this morning, I was just devastated to see this…

I am an avid follower on PerezHilton.com and I know what you’re thinking. It’s mostly filled with celebrity news that really have no meaning in my life, but it keeps me busy, and somehow (I don’t know why) it makes me feel good to be on top of celebrity gossip, to be the first among my friends to know these things. It’s silly, but I love it. But sometimes, a message comes through on the site. This celebrity blogger is also a human being, a champion for minorities (him being a Latino and all) but also for equal rights for all people, gay or straight. So often, I find good causes on his site and so on. But also, he often reports on the very cruel treatment many young people suspected of homosexuality are getting in the US. One case that springs to mind, is a young girl (Constance McMillen)  who was banned from her own prom, because she wanted to bring a female date. That’s just absurd.

But what I saw this morning shocked me. I am saddened by the lack of tolerance, acceptance and humanity displayed by society. Please read this article: http://bit.ly/9EvoNc  It’s short, and will not take up too much of your time.

If this doesn’t enrage you, I am frightened to think what else must happen before we make some changes. As always, I encourage you to support The Trevor Project, on the left-hand side of my blog is an easy way to start. They are doing very important work. Please help.

Much Love ♥ (for everybody)