I was just challenged by one of my besties to start a new blog…About Fashion! My fashion. More to the point, a sort of “What I am Wearing Today” type of blog. And I love the idea!
Since I have to wear black almost everyday (for work), I shall sometimes focus on my accessories, or make-up. Maybe sometimes my hair or my shoes. Or even some new nail polish…Who knows? But I am exited. I think a big part of my excitement comes from having a reason to blog everyday now, since I (have to) wear clothes everyday. This blog gets quite neglected sometimes, I haven’t always got something important to get off my chest.
Before I begin this journey though, I need to name that blog. (Sounds like a Gameshow: Name That Blog!) I am very open to suggestions, so if you have any ideas, they are more than welcome. Keep in mind, that I don’t do haute couture. I do fashion, on a budget. I try to be thrifty and frugal, so that I don’t get chewed out when I get home! 🙂
I want to start soon, so watch this space. I will inform you of the details as soon as I have some!
P.S The only thing I love about this scorching summer, is the bountiful fresh fruit available. Mmmhmmm.
“I went to the woods because I wanted to live deliberately, I wanted to live deep and suck out all the marrow of life, To put to rout all that was not life and not when I had come to die Discover that I had not lived.”
– Henry David Thoreau
I woke up this morning and suddenly felt as if my own life was passing me by. I have stopped writing, I have stopped painting, I barely touch my camera any more (although that is a different story entirely, I am quite angry with the thing) and I am merely existing. I feel bad because it feels like I have lost the fire in me, the life within me.
I want to rediscover myself, and my life. I forget what I stood for, and what my passions were. I have lost my voice, but the more I shout, the less any one can hear me… If I were to die today, what legacy would I leave? What would people remember? That I am a lousy friend? True. That I am self-obsessed? Also true. That I am no longer the person I used to be? That I am lazy at living? All true.
As I watched a video clip that a dear friend made, I realised that I even lost the activist in me, and I hate that. I hate that the world is still so unfair to any one who is not “normal”. Ugh, NORMAL? What is that? Why do we want to be NORMAL? Normal is boring. It is average. It is ordinary. I don’t want to be normal. I will no longer be. I want to LIVE. I want to BE.
As of today, I will be different. I will not be lazy. I will work at living. I want to live deliberately. I am extraordinary. And so are you.
My first act in living my new life: Reviving the Activist. Homophobia is unacceptable. It can not be tolerated. It should not. It is cruel. With that in mind, please watch this video. My dear friend made this video. And to my dear friend: Thank you for the wake up call. I needed your honest and pure heart put into art to wake me up and to start living again.
So I spent my day (or the first half of it at least, it’s only 1 PM now), reading a freshly pressed blog http://nerdyapplebottom.com
It’s funny. And honest, and I feel like I can relate to the writer, even though I don’t have any kids. I’m not even married.
Take a look at her blog. She really is quite the writer. But that’s not entirely the point I was going to make. The point is this:
Can anyone ever be really truly happy? Can I be truly happy? So yes, I got a job, and it’s out of this dump of a town, away from people who are negative towards me. And yes, I’m excited, because I’m moving back to my man, and my friends, and family, and my darling sister. Not that I’m happy about leaving the other sister, but she’ll be joining us in a few weeks anyway. So yes, I’m excited. But I’m not really happy about the job. It’s not a step up on a higher rung on the ladder that is my career. I just got off my ladder, and started climbing a new one. So it’s not very appealing to me. I’m doing the same thing, for the same salary (in an environment where living costs are much higher) and I’d be working more hours. Don’t get me wrong. I’m not lazy. I’m willing to work hard. I just don’t know what I’m working for anymore. It doesn’t feel like I’m building a career. I’m losing my passion. I can see myself in 20 years, still working this mediocre job.
And few things scare and sadden me more than mediocrity. I wasn’t born to be ordinary. So I have a plan. And everybody will hate it. And maybe it’s not a good idea in the first place. But I’m going to think about it some, and if I’m ready, I will share.
On a side note, please send the most positive energy you can muster into the universe: My man is looking at a job too, and we’re hoping he gets it. Also, I have less than ONE week to move. And I’m broke. <Insert profanity here> And my sister might be very sick. 😦