There’s gotta be more to life…

…than begging people to like you.

Sometimes, you get stabbed in the back. And it hurts. Sometimes you get betrayed and people don’t even know how they’ve affected you. But you get over it. When friends talk about you behind your back, or lie blatantly to your face, that’s okay. Karma is a bitch, and she will get to you. I recently discovered that you might think that someone is loyal and trustworthy, but it takes one morning on Facebook to realise that they’re plainly just not.

I’ve gotten over the fact that people are cunning, and conniving and plainly two-faced. You take the knife out of your back, you cut your losses and you move on. You make new friends. You learn valuable lessons from each of these people.

But what gets to me is falseness and insincerity on a different level. If someone you know and trust profoundly says they admire your work, and wants you to do a job for them, that’s a great affirmation. Yet, one week later, you see this person has had that job done by someone else, that’s just…well, that’s just rotten. It’s downright disgusting. I feel if a friend lies about your work as a professional, it’s just despicable. I understand the concept of not wanting to hurt another’s feelings, but hey, why do you bring it up in the first place? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not bitter about a friend trying to spare my feelings. I’m offended that I was lied to on a professional level, and that this person lied about the integrity of my work.

I’m not one of those girls who wants everybody to like me. If you don’t, fine, you know where the door is. I make new friends just fine, thanks. But when I am being spoken to as a photographer, I will not tolerate insincerity. In this line of work I really do need an honest opinion, not just something I might want to hear. It’s a cut-throat business, and if you can’t even count on a “friend” to be honest and help you improve, then you’re never going to make it. So no, I don’t have time or space in my life for people who are trying to sweet-talk me. I will not be manipulated, and I will succeed. Screw them if they don’t believe in you.

Needless to say, friendship over.


Red Army

Today South Africans are wearing red in the fight against crime. I could give you all the stats about the murders on farms, the rapes of children, theft, hi-jackings, assaults…the list goes on. But I’m not. The crime here is bad. There’s no denying that. And of course, we’re worried. What, with the Fifa World Cup almost here, the host nation needs to be ready. Our entire police force is gearing up and getting ready for the masses of people coming. All of the participating countries will also be sending some of their police forces to help. Even Interpol is sending their troops of men to assist.

But let’s be realistic. Crime is everywhere. In every country. It might not be as bad as here, but also, it might be worse. It’s just with all these people coming the spotlight is on us. As it should be. The last thing we need is even more bad press. We already have a mockingly ridiculous government. Our public transport is a joke. There’s racism, there’s not denying that, and people in power (ahem, Julius Malema) is using that to feed a growing restlessness.

To lose hope is futile. Nothing is going to happen if we don’t do something about it. So why not stand up. Rise above. Wear red, if only for today. Have hope. Dream big. We are better than all this. We can rise above. I have hope for humanity.

Much Love 

Beware of the big bad wolf…

Sometimes it pays to be cynical. I know people say that positive energy attracts positive energy and vice versa, but sometimes you just need to say “I think you’re full of it”.

One would think in these times when it’s not safe anymore to walk home at night, or leave your car unlocked, or letting your children play outside, that we would be super aware. Yet, we aren’t. And we have all heard about these Nigerian scams and what not, yet we think the internet is safe. Well guess what: It’s not. People (not necessarily the good people) can find out an alarming amount of information about you by using just google. Furthermore, that search can even be refined and they can get straight to you on your email or your phone by searching the sites we trust.

I’m not even talking about Facebook. If you don’t know by now not to put your personal contact details on your profile AND to block your profile for outsiders, you’ll never know. Don’t be stupid. Hackers can get into almost anything, what makes you think they can’t get to you? What I really am talking about is the sites you trust you put your details on. It could be employment agencies, au pair sites, online shopping sites and even the sites where you advertise your professional services. They lure you with a job offer you think you just can’t refuse. It seems legit, because the company they refer to is huge and well-known.

Look closer. This person is not affiliated with that company. If they were, why is this guy sending you an email from a hotmail/gmail/yahoo email account? Don’t you think this guy would have an email address that’s linked to the company? So there’s your first red flag. Secondly, do you see any specific details? No? No kidding. There are no details to give. It’s always at a place to be later determined, on a date and time yet to be made. Second red flag then. Then the offer…$1000 for a day’s work? All you hear is cha-ching. But really, $1000 for one day of work? Do you think anybody would pay you that much if you were just a normal person who didn’t invent the internet? No.  And then the pièce de résistance. Look at this person’s name. It sounds English. Maybe Scottish or whatever. His name fools you into thinking he is trustworthy. Like he is educated. But then read the email again. Do you see any spelling mistakes? Grammatical errors? If you read it out loud, does it sound like someone whose first language is English? No? Because it’s not. This guy is scamming you. For what end result, I don’t know. Unfortunately, I’m too cynical to fall for that. I’d love to know what happens. But not really. It might be an organ harvesting ring. Or human trafficking ring. Or drugs, or murder or who knows what.

So, even if you try to be positive, and believe the best in people, don’t be naive. If it sounds too good to be true, it’s because it is. Be smart. Be safe. Beware.

Much Love